Fullmetal Disney World
by Yours Falsely
Summary: The Fuhrer sends Ed, Al, Roy, Riza, and Winry on a muchneeded break to Disney World! May be some EdxWin and RoyxRiza later on, rated for language. R R, please!
1. Disney World?

A/N: Yes, not only am I a Disney freak, but a Fullmetal Alchemist freak! So I thought, hmm, what if the FMA cast went to Walt Disney World?

Dedication: Elliott- thanks for getting me hooked on FMA and thanks for being there.

READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!

-------------------------------

Colonel Roy Mustang sat at his desk with his head indolently propped up by his fist and drummed his fingers. He knew he wasn't getting any work done, but he didn't particularly care either. He also knew that since young state alchemist Edward Elric was returning within the next hour, he could verbally abuse the fifteen-year-old for wasting his money on a pointless search for the famed Philosopher's Stone. But that was about the extent of the excitement around Eastern Command for a while.

The phone rang suddenly, startling the poor colonel. He regained composure and answered, "Unnoticed and abused future Fuhrer speaking, what do you want now."

"Colonel Mustang."

Roy's eyes widened at the voice; it was the Fuhrer.

"Uh—hello almighty Fuhrer, how may I serve you?"

Apparently not noticing or caring about Roy's ill-mannered answer, the Fuhrer continued talking happily,

"Colonel Mustang, I have decided that I have been a little harsh on Eastern Command in recent times, and you folks have worked to the bone. You all need a break."

Mustang's heart leapt at the thought of not having to work, even though he didn't do much of it already.

"So, I'm sending the commanding of Eastern Command, including the Fullmetal's automail mechanic, to Walt Disney World."

Roy's jaw dropped. _There is no way he's telling the truth. He must be kidding. He must be!_

"You all will be staying in two grand villas at the Old Key West Resort, and you will be there for a week."

_A week. A whole week riding kiddie rides with creepy bug-eyed characters. Don't forget the overly-catchy show tunes. _(A/N: I effing love WDW, I'm just saying what Roy would probably think.)

"Now you all enjoy your time!"

"Thank… you… Fuhrer…"

And that was that, the Fuhrer hung up and Roy just sat in bewildered silence.

Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye noticed his trance-like state as she was walking by.

"Everything all right, sir?" she asked her commanding officer.

"I'm goin' to Disney World, Hawkeye."

She raised an eyebrow and left. She didn't want to catch the colonel during one of his moments.

"No! Hawkeye! Come back!"

She poked her head around the corner. "Do you need something, sir?"

"Lieutenant, the Fuhrer… he's sending Eastern Command and that Rockbell girl to _Disney World_."

"Oh really, Colonel?" Hawkeye said, restraining a snicker.

"Yes, the Fuhrer's given us a vacation. And for some odd reason at the place where money goes down the drain faster than a fat kid to an ice cream stand."

"Can't wait to get a picture with Mickey, huh?" She couldn't hold it any longer; she burst out laughing and left.

"Disney World?" Edward Elric asked suspiciously. "Why _Disney World?_"

"My thoughts exactly, Fullmetal," Mustang responded tiredly. He had given up. "I guess it couldn't hurt to have a little break."

"Are you insane! The Philosopher's Stone might be being used to create giant killing statues from nothing while we are riding It's A Small World in utter terror? Mustang, we are not going to Disney World."

"As your commanding officer, I must say that yes we are, Fullmetal." Only a few people could make it; himself,Al Elric,Winry Rockbell, and Riza Hawkeye. Jean apparently had a doctor's appointment and the others had such far-fetched excuses that he didn't want to force them to go if they were going to make up those. And he was not going to go alone with two other females, even though Riza was…

"Fine, I'll go. Don't make me do anything I don't want to do, though. Agreed?"

Roy smiled evilly. "Agreed."

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

A/N: Yay! Hope you liked it as much as I liked writing it!

-Yours Falsely


	2. Arrival

A/N: Woohoo! That was a fun chapter to write, it's almost like I'm addicted to writing this story. OO

SessandInubros: Glad you like it, what you said inspired me to do something when they visit the Magic Kingdom. Muahahaha. >:D

Moose2828: Why thankum. :D

Sin of Otaku: I stay at OKW every summer, and we pass by POR and POFQ on the bus to different parks… but I've never stayed there. I was just there last week too! How cool. I did see someone with a red FMA sweatshirt tied around their waist at MGM Studios.

On with the show!

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Roy Mustang walked past a model ship to the check-in desk. On the wall behind it was a mural of a fewKey West-stylehomes and the azure ocean in the background.

"Hello, welcome toDisney's Old Key WestResort! How can I help you, sir?" a young woman with blonde hair and a fair complexion asked.

"My name is Roy Mustang, and I'm checkingin for Eastern Command in Amestris."

She cocked her head and smiled amusedly. "Amestris? I've never heard of the place, where is it?"

"In Amestris," Roy replied blandly.

"Um, well, that's good enough information for me. Let's see... M, M, M," she ran her finger down the list on the computer screen. "Ah! Here we go! Mustang, Raymond," she said joyfully.

Mustang blushed slightly and lookedawayhalf angrily, half abashedly at the use of his real first name.

"Well, Raym- I mean Roy, now that we found you, you must show us identification and we must go through more security protocol. This may take a little while..."

Roy sighed.

Ed walked down the simulated boardwalk on his way to the pool. He noted carefully the faux but convincing tropical ambiance and the "ocean" with a few boats and a bridge. There were a few restaurants; a fairly-sized restaurant called Olivia's and a little bar called The Gurgling Suitcase.

He finally reached the pool and stripped down to onlyhis swim trunks. Winry spotted him and waved happily.

"Hey, Ed!" She yelled happily. He smiled and waved back. He couldn't swim because of his automail, but he was happy to catch a few rays on a chair, despite the stares of passersby.

Right as he was getting comfortable, a tall dark man towered above him.

"Hey, that was my chair, shorty."

Ed twitched angrily then leapt to his feet.

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING SMALLER THAN A PEANUT!" he screamed rather publicly. Nearly everyone in a fifty-foot radius' head turned.

The man backed up a few feet, startled. "Woah, woah, dude. Can I just have my chair back?"

Ed muttered unintelligible curses under his breath and walked to the next empty seat, a dozen or so yards away. After he had cooled off from the insulting man, he nodded off to sleep to the soothing beat of the steel drums.

Not for long.

"Fullmetal, our room's ready. Get up."

"Ehhhh…? Okay…" Ed groaned drunkenly. He got up slowly and followed Roy to a row of pink Key West-style buildings, all with little signs and four-digit numbers.

"Our villa number is… 3964." Roy said, looking at one of the many papers the woman at the check in desk gave him.

They walked up a flight of stairs, and to a door. Roy inserted the key card and it unlocked with a little green light and a click.

He opened the door to a island-style television room with hardwood floors and wicker furniture. There was a gracefully-crafted staircase, leading up to the upstairs bedrooms and bathrooms. He took a few steps and noted the kitchen with oak wood cabinets.

Riza Hawkeye walked up to him. It was the first time Ed had seen her not in uniform, she was wearing a sky blue tank top and forest brown capris.

"Everyone, gather 'round," she ordered.

Immediately obeying the lieutenant, everyone formed into a group around her, listening intently.

"Hey, where's Al!" Ed questioned angrily.

"Well, Colonel Mustang thought would be somewhat… awkward to have a suit of armor walking around all the parks, so he is staying with Auntie Pinako," answered Winry.

"Plus he couldn't fit into the cars of Space Mountain for his life," Roy said curtly. Edward glared at him.

Riza cleared her throat and continued.

"As I was saying, tomorrow, we're going to the Magic Kingdom, the next day to MGM Studios, then Epcot, then for our last day we're going to the Animal Kingdom. We're going to ride each, and _every_, attraction, despite if you want to or not. Got it?"

"Leave it to Hawkeye to make Disney World seem like business," Ed whispered in Winry's ear.

"Heard that, kiddo." Riza said, glowering at Ed. "And here are your room assignments.

Winry: downstairs bedroom. Colonel: Either upstairs bedroom. Ed," she lifted her eyes from the paper and looked at the boy. He gulped. "Couch."

Ed groaned and threw his suitcase on the couch. "Fine, fine."

After everyone left to their rooms, Ed pulled out the couch bed and accidentally caught his hand in one part.

"OW!" he yelped, then looked heatedly at his throbbing hand.

He finally managed to pull the bed out completely and cover it messily with some extra blankets in the closet. He turned on the television, and an overzealous girl popped on screen.

"Hi! I'm Stacy and we're going to do the Top 7 Must Sees at Walt Disney World! It's gonna be a fun fun fun countdown, so don't go away!"

Ed would have normally stopped watching, but Stacy wasn't too hard on the eyes.

The show started with a creepy-looking circus show called La Nouba, then moved on to the different parks, showing a crazy-looking mining train, a space themed roller coaster, and a log with people on it. In another park was what looked like a really fast limousine going past signs and through doughnuts, then there is a tall place called the Hollywood Tower Hotel in which your elevator makes you go up and down really fast. The show ended with a tall mountain and Stacy couldn't keep talking about something called a "yeti".

'Welcome to the funny farm.' Ed thought sarcastically. He turned off the television and went to sleep.

Woot! That was fun to write… I cannot wait to torment the characters on all of my favorite rides… heeheehee.

Keep reviewing!

-Yours Falsely


	3. Magic Kingdom part 1

And here we go! Another chapter of utter and total insanity with the cast of FMA at the Happiest Place On Earth! Thank you sooooo much for all the reviews -bows-! I love getting them and replying to them…. So here we are!

Oh, and before I forget _again _(headdesk), I must do the disclaimer. I DO NOT OWN AND AM NOT AFFILIATED WITH THE WALT DISNEY COMPANY OR FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST.

Sin of Otaku: Haha, couldn't resist. The second we entered our hotel room I was like "Resort TV time!" and I turned on the television and there she was. I rode Everest twice in a row, it was SO fun! The Yeti animatronic is incredible. I love the Rock n' Roller Coaster too, we ride that a lot and I lovvvvvve Aerosmith.

SessandInubros: Bwahahahahaha! Riza did say that they would ride _every_ attraction. rubs hands deviously

Falcon226: Thank you! Glad you're enjoying the story! I'm sure having fun writing it. It is rather random, isn't it? XDDDD

animegrl1850: Thanks! When I saw that there were no "FMA-goes-to-Disney" stories, I was like "OMG." and I started writing this.

Lightningstrxu: Indeed it does! I know the feeling, I wandered in that store FOREVER and I bought this realllllyy expensive ($25) chibi-totoro plushie that I just felt like I _needed_ to have. That is a very good idea; I might need to use that!

gun-alchemist01:

Thanks again for reviewing! Everybody neat and pretty? Then on with the show!

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

After a hurried morning of quick breakfasts and showers, Ed and the others found themselves on a bus to the Magic Kingdom for what would be a very long day. It was barely eight-o-clock, and there was an infant screaming bloody murder the entire ride there.

At last, a blue and white castle peeked over the treeline.

"Agggh, finally!" Ed groaned. "It's been like two hours."

"Try fifteen minutes," Riza corrected bluntly.

They stepped off the bus and walked to the bag check.

"Will… will we get to ride Dumbo?" Winry asked timidly while they were waiting in the fairly long line. "I mean… I haven't been here since I was little, and that was my favorite ride."

"Yes. We're riding every attraction here. We'll ride Dumbo."

Winry smiled triumphantly. "Yesss!"

Ed smiled smugly. "Ehhh, Dumbo's a kiddie ride. Space Mountain, Splash Mountain, and Big Thunder Mountain are what _I'm_ looking forward to."

Roy smiled knowingly. "I bet I know what Riza's looking forward to… the shooting gallery in Frontierland and the Buzz Lightyear ride. Right?"

"What do you mean, 'You're not allowed to carry a gun'! I'm a lieutenant in the army," came her voice, shaking with rage at the security guard.

"Sorry lady, I don't believe you."

She furrowed her eyebrows angrily, reached in her pocket, and pulled out her wallet. She pulled out her license and stuck it in his face.

"See? Look. _Lieutenant_ Riza Hawkeye. Any questions?"

He waved his hands in his face apologetically. "Sorry, lieutenant. You can keep the gun with you."

"That's what I thought." She said indignantly. She began to walk away.

"Hey! Wait! You're the folks from that, um, Hamestiss place, right?" The security guard called after her

"Amestris. Why?"

"Uh, well, you guys have a cast member tour guide, so you don't destr- I mean so you don't get lost. He's right over there."

The group turned their heads in the direction the security guard had pointed them. There, in full cast member uniform stood Jean Havoc. Riza stared. Winry gaped. Ed's jaw dropped.

"_Havoc?_" choked Roy. "Is-is-is… is that _you_!"

Jean blushed resentfully and looked away.

"You said you had a doctor's appointment."

Jean rounded on them. "Well, I didn't! And how else do you expect me to pay for 2 packs a day with the money I get from Eastern Command? Well? What's wrong with getting a second job? Huh? Well?"

Roy put his forehead in his palm and shook his head sadly.

"Just do your job and show us around." Ed said, still in shock from seeing Havoc as a cast member.

Havoc sighed. "Alright. Okay, let's start over. Welcome to the Magic Kingdom park! I am your tour guide, Jean. We're going to start at the Haunted Mansion in Liberty Square, which is-"

"You know, you don't have to talk like that. We know you," Winry interrupted, raising an eyebrow.

"Okay, okay, okay. Follow me."

They walked down Main Street USA and the main hub, passing a bronze statue of Walt Disney and Mickey and crowds of people all heading in separate directions. Jean led them over a bridge into an area with brick buildings, a store called the Ye Olde Christmas Shoppe, and cast members in long dresses and bonnets.

"Welcome to Liberty Square, folks." Jean said with forced enthusiasm. "It's designed to look like how Pennsylvania in the mid-1700's. The Haunted Mansion was intended to look like the Dutch architecture found in the Hudson River Valley in New York in the early 1700's. Keep following me."

After walking throw the narrow "land" of the park, they reached a wrought-iron fence and gate, with a big sign proclaiming "THE HAUNTED MANSION".

"Here we are." Riza said jadedly.

They strolled through a covered area and the line completely stopped moving. Ed noticed the gravestones.

" 'Here lies good old Fred, a great big rock fell on his head.' What the crap?" He read confusedly.

" 'Here lies brother Dave, he chased a bear into a cave.' Heehee, these are pretty funny," Winry giggled.

Suddenly, the doors to the great brick building opened.

"Your time has come," A sullen-looking woman in a servant's dress boomed morbidly.

Edward walked up to the woman with a haughty smirk. "Come on, tell us all your secrets. We know there are no ghosts-"

"NO," she interrupted evilly. Ed's eyes widened in momentary surprise with her strong declination, and he caught up with the rest of the group.

As they entered, a man's eerie voice was heard.

"_Where hinges creak in doorless chambers, where strange and frightening sounds echo through the halls. Whenever candlelights flicker, when the air is deathly still…that is the time when ghosts are present, practicing their terror with ghoulish delight."_

"Dude, aren't cast members supposed to be all, 'Have a magical day!'?" He asked Jean in a slightly frightened tone. "Because that one was like, evil."

Jean shrugged. "Eh, that's the Haunted Mansion for you."

There was a portrait of a young man over the fireplace, looking fairly content. Ed almost instantly became aware of its strangeness- the young man in the picture slowly turned into an older, then older, then even _older_ man, until all was left was a skeleton.

A cast member led them into an octagonal room with paintings on every other wall.

The voice started again.

"_Welcome, foolish mortals, to the Haunted Mansion! I am your host, your _ghost _host._" The voice chuckled sinisterly. Ed and Winry looked at each other with a disturbed expression on their faces, then looked away. Riza stared into space as if this was business as usual.

"_Our tour begins here, in this gallery. Here where you see paintings of some of our guests as they appeared in their corruptible, mortal states. Kindly step all the way in please, and make room for everyone. There's no turning back now…"_

"Drag your wretched bodies away from my walls to the dead center of the room…" A male cast member dressed as a butler bellowed. Everyone conformed at once.

Roy's heart jolted when he observed something strange going on. Was the room… stretching? 'How on earth…?'

"_Your cadaverous pallor portrays an aura of foreboding, almost as though you sense a disquieting metamorphosis. Is this haunted room actually stretching? Or is it your imagination, hmm?_"

"Oh, I hope it is…" Winry cried, subconsciously grabbing Ed's hand. The two blushed and turned away from each other.

The portraits revealed a young lady with a parasol balancing on a rope above a hungry alligator, an old woman sitting atop a gravestone, a man in his boxers on top of a barrel of lit dynamite, and three men stacked up, sinking into quicksand.

"_And consider this dismaying observation—this chamber has no windows and no doors, which offers you this chilling challenge: to find a way out! Hahahahaha!_"

'Nice guy,' Ed thought sarcastically.

"_Of course, there's always… my way."_

The lights suddenly shut off and lightning flashed. Where there had just been a ceiling was now a corpse hanging. There was a cheesy scream, and the room went completely dark, then light again.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Will the FMA cast survive the Haunted Mansion? Read to find out!

If you can't tell, this fic is gonna have a lotttttttt of chapters --;;

Keep reading and reviewing!

-Yours Falsely


End file.
